Doubt...

Lost, endlessly dwells into oblivion,

Darkness, covers the horizon,

Cold, beneath this flesh it cuts,

Hope, dimmed as there's none.

For the 3rd time this week, I have a freaking huge doubt on what am I doing here right now. Where the fuck does this route will take me? I can't see shit! I'm starting to feel afraid. I even don't have that motivational striving that I had before. Fuck is wrong with me huh? Follow the flow? I don't care about that shit anymore. I just can't stand the thinking of having shit all over me one day. (well, that would be disgusting). I'm guessing that I'm already lost somewhere, looking for something. I'm trying, but how much can this weak of a person can handle so much? A unmotivated guy like me, how would that end up?

Yes, I have things to do, like playing games, creating artworks, collecting things, and of course, studying. Well, the fact is I neglect the later part. Yes, I can't concentrate because I'm too afraid to just go around and to find out what my future holds! Isn't that fucked up?! I'm like a freaking paranoid guy? Am I? Am I thinking too much? Then, what a thinker supposed to do than think about shit that happens to his life, other than thinking about it... I just cannot stop thinking. I guess that's why I had a lot of migraine lately. Hmm. This is getting nowhere. Well, this will be my first real update then after a long silence. Goodnight folks. I hope tomorrow or whenever, I'll be up to par with the usual me. Later :(